Glasses

It's official. I got glasses, so I'm old. I realize there's many of you that have had glasses forever, but this isn't about you.
So I've had this problem with my eyes for a little while now. They'd simply get tired by the end of the day. I wouldn't get headaches, but they'd get tired. I'd have to close them and rub them for a while.

It was time to get my eyes checked.

I've never been opposed to glasses. I've just never needed them.

Into Jen's eye dr.s office I went. I've been to the guy before, but all was fine then. Not this time. Things started out fine, but got worse as he applied a battery of tests to my vision. When he put the big simulator thing in front of my eyes and started changing the prescription for each of my eyes individually, I quickly realized my left eye wasn't working as well as it used to. My right eye was fine. I could read every letter on the bottom row perfectly fine. When he blocked my right eye and asked me to read the bottom row with my left eye, things got blurry. He said the prescription wasn't bad, but in combination with an astigmatism and sitting in front of computer all day, that was the reason my eyes were so tired by the end of the day.

Ok fine. I need glasses. Sign me up. Just get me past this tired eyes bit.

Being new to the whole glasses thing, I didn't realize they'd make me pick out a pair right then and there. I expected them to give me a prescription and send me on my way - especially considering they'd dilated my eyes and I couldn't see a train coming my way. Nope. The woman sat me down and started throwing glasses at me.

"How do you like these? What about these? Oh you can't afford those."

Huh? I can afford whatever I damn well please. If they're going on my face, they better look good. What's the point of cost if I can't see the stupid things? At one point I mentioned waiting to shop with my wife as a polite way to make the woman back off, but at the same time I really wanted my tired eyes to not be tired anymore. I figured I'd get a pair (crappy as they may be), since insurance was paying for them. I'd get a better pair later that insurance wouldn't pay for anyway. Frustrated I picked a pair I thought looked decent and left.

That was a week ago.

Yesterday I spent an easy twelve hours in front of the computer. My eyes were killing me. I was so glad when I got home to find out my glasses were in. This morning I went in first thing to have them fitted. Jen warned me they'd be weird. They might even make things worse. She was right. Anything other than sitting in front of a computer made me want to puke. I persevered and wore them anyway. The guys at work said they made me look 10 iq points smarter. Working at the computer seemed easier - less tiring.

Jen says I look like a dork. I feel like I look like one of those people in the Lens Crafters ads that look like they shouldn't be wearing glasses. Jen agrees. Now that I see them, I agree with her. As I type all this, I realize my eyes are still tired. Not as tired as yesterday, but tired. Maybe they're adjusting. Maybe the prescription is wrong. I don't know. I think I'm just old.

- b