One Night at Dance Class

As the day progressed Jen gave me hints as to what was going on. The closer we got to the event, the more I realized that she too wasn't well informed. I was told that after our dance lesson some "pros" were coming in to the studio and needed some backup latin dancers. No big deal. I figure a little Cha-Cha, maybe some Salsa everthing would be smooth sailing. At the lesson a little more began to leak out about what was going to happen. The "pros" were none other than 12 time world champions Bob Powers and his wife Julia Gorchakova (their website sucks). Still didn't mean much to me, but what they were doing tonight was really a rehersal for what was supposed to happen Friday night.

Rehersal? Friday night?

Jen failed to tell me about the Friday night part. More details come out. Julia has a ballroom dance/workout tape she's promoting -- the picture is getting a little less cloudy now -- She's in town to do a spot on QVC for said tape and needs some backup dancers. Tonight at the studio would be a quick rehersal.

Ok. I'm still cool with it. Jen and I will do some moves in the background. No big deal.

Fresh off a flight from California, Julia, Bob, Jaana and James come strolling in. Holy Shit! They look like they're from California. Julia is five feet tall with four feet of the flattest hardest abs you've ever seen. She's a bundle of bouncing flashy energy in her furry designer boots, skin tight ripped jeans that she can't get low enough on her hips, sweater halter top, leather tan skin, ear to ear smile and piercing eyes. The two men, if I hadn't known were married to the two hottest women in ten city blocks, I would swear were gay. A quick greeting and Julia's at the front of the studio lining us up in an aerobics class formation.

Huh?

She starts counting and stepping us through a Cuban Walk motion. Ok. Cool I can handle this. Now she's talking about emphasizing our hip motions to the left and right while stretching our rib cages up and in the opposite direction.

"Feel the stretch, five, six seven eight!"

Uh this doesn't really feel like background dancing. This doesn't feel like dancing at all.

"Repeat, march your feet and hold your arms chest level in font of you."

This feels like exercise. What the hell?

"Now thrust your hips forward and backwards like this!" she begins humping the air like she and the air just got over a fight. "Thrust your hips to the side and now in a circle!" Her hips are grinding in circles through the air.

Ok. I'm done. This is bad. I'm not doing this anymore. I slowly backpedal and make my way to a chair on the side. The grinding and air humping continues with more emphasis and energy. I'm sweating just watching them. Her husband Bob is busy combing the phone book for a place to eat while his wife visually sexually assualts the studio. Jaana, a very tall, skinny and freakish looking girl, steps up with pointers for the girls to look more sexy.

"Smile ladies. Show your teeth. As long as they see your teeth it doesn't matter what the rest of you is doing."

Are you kidding? Who's going to pay attention to background dancers teeth with Julia's hips in full swing? I can't believe I came within twenty four hours of doing this on national television. I'm humiliated just thinking about the possibility. What the hell happened?

When it was over and Jen and I were leaving her eyes were bulging.

"I had no idea. I really had no idea."

"I could tell." We went home - back to our normal suburban lives, let the dog out and went to bed.

Here's the website for what we were doing.